School starts last week. <— clearly shows the craziness in my mind lately, hahaha! I’m just leaving that there.
I haven’t been working out regularly since school got out in June. There have been a lot of changes happening around here and working out just fell out of the wagon of all the things I’ve been carrying.
Tuesday, May 14th, 2019…
I walked into my grandpa’s office with my resignation letter, officially resigning as office manager, and walked away from my employer 1 day shy of my 14-year anniversary there — a family-owned company. It was one of the easiest, yet most life-changing decisions I’ve ever made in all of my 36 years of life. The decision was easy because I waited way too long to make it.
I’ve learned and realized a few things in the months following:
- Any position with any employer is completely replaceable. Don’t let that make you stick around for a job/employer you hate.
- I’m strong for standing up to my manager (my grandfather) and letting him know that I won’t be tolerating that place, and how he runs it/lets it operate, any longer. The day I quit I didn’t cry and I didn’t yell. Calm as a cucumber. That’s how I know I made the right decision.
- My husband has supported me 100%. And my mom, and my dad, other grandparents, and countless others, and it helped give me the boost I needed to let go.
- It felt like 100 pounds of weight was lifted off my shoulders as soon as I walked out the door and knew I wasn’t coming back. It was the best feeling in a long time.
- I’m extremely proud of myself for sticking up for myself and what I believe in. What good am I if I sit back and watch a place that allows its employees to run it into the ground? They can continue to run it however they want and I don’t need to know anymore.
- I have a voice. I voiced my thoughts, feelings, and opinions plenty of times and it always fell on deaf ears. Time to remove my voice from the situation and bring it to something that will better me. I don’t like when it feels like I’m talking to trees!
- You can give and give and give and give until you have nothing left and it still won’t be enough. And when there is nothing left to give, you feel it. On May 14th, 2019 my tank was finally on E and I had stopped caring completely. Not because I “gave up”, but because I was done “rolling with the punches”, as they say. Enough is enough!
- Life is way too damn short to work in the environment I was in, especially when your grandfather is your boss and talks down to you like nobody’s business. He’s old fashioned and I can appreciate that, but I don’t live my life that way and I won’t tolerate anyone talking to me like that. The fact it was my grandpa… yeah, that hurts. I respect him, and I love him, but I will never work for him a day in my life again.
- I will NEVER work with family again. EVER. When you’re family, it’s like you’re expected to put up with the shit and do all the shit just because you are family. In my mind, family doesn’t work that way. This will sound so cliche’, but family isn’t just blood, it’s the people who give a shit. And sometimes they don’t go together and that’s okay. It’s okay!
- IT’S OKAY TO QUIT WHATEVER ISN’T SERVING YOU.
I will share that I do know that there was a handful who were appreciative, and one who would personally tell me that. I appreciated those words more than they know, but the snowball of feelings and thoughts in my head was too big and had too much momentum to keep tolerating the day-to-day shitshow there. After all, they weren’t personally dealing with what I had been dealing with because they didn’t work there.
Have I heard from my grandpa and grandma since the day I quit? Nope. Have two of my children had birthdays since then? Yep. Are my children missing out? Nope. You know who is missing out? My grandparents. And whoever else can’t respect the decision I made to make my life better for myself and my family. I’m a mom of 4 with a husband and three dogs. They are the ones who matter most.
I guess you could say…
I’m just realizing I haven’t really taken the time to process this “loss”.
My family is important to me and when I would come home from work bitching every day about how shitty it was (a lot more regularly than normal), it’s time to put up or shut up. And I was done. My family deserved better. I am so much better for quitting. I’m a better wife. I’m a better mom. I’m a better person. I feel peace.
Don’t get me wrong… I was always appreciative of my job and the opportunity I had. I was thankful. And I voiced all of that in my resignation letter.
I had hoped for so long that it’d get turned around and be a better place to work. My input didn’t matter because I’m a dumb female. (Not really, but that’s how my grandpa made me feel and yes, I did let him know that)
Quitting isn’t always bad.
It’s no big secret that I don’t always put myself first. The only reason I stayed so long was because I was trying to help, but I won’t be going into that. Everyone just needs to realize that I tried. The people who know me, know my heart and my soul, and that I wouldn’t just quit for the fuck of it. Yep, said it.
God knows my heart and that’s what matters to me in the end. I also know God doesn’t like profanity, but he knows my heart. My heart is good. It cares too much what people think sometimes, but it’s good.
Wrapping up my scattered brain…
I did not make the decision I made lightly, and I understand it has some consequences because of those who refuse to put themselves in my shoes for a second, but I do need to look out for myself, too. If I don’t, who will? If people need to be angry with me because of a healthy decision I made for myself and my family, then I don’t need them in my life anyway.Settling is a personal choice. Quitting is a personal choice. Being happy is a personal choice!Click To Tweet
I guess I leave all of this here to say…. that if you’re in a situation where you’re working for an employer (or any other relationship) that doesn’t give two shits about you or what you have to say, it’s okay to let go. It’s scary. There’s no doubt about that. But it’s okay to let go. There are other people and places out there that will appreciate you and all you have to offer.
Also, please don’t work with/for family.