By now you may have heard that Rihanna sat down with Oprah for an exclusive interview that aired last night on Oprah’s Next Chapter. I love Oprah’s interviews. I love the way she’s able to get real answers from people. She isn’t afraid to ask the hard questions and I think people let their guard down a bit because they trust her.
The Rihanna interview didn’t disappoint.
I’ve always loved her music but I think I’ve found a new love in Rihanna as a person. She came across as raw, real and candid in this interview and I admire her for her strength to do it in the first place.
I DVR’d the interview last night because we watched The Hunger Games and Big Brother. I wasn’t sure Roger would be too interested in watching a Rihanna interview so I saved it for my “me” time today.
It was good therapy, let me tell ya.
In the first part of the interview Rihanna spoke a lot about her grandmother (whom she calls Gran Gran Dolly). She talked about how she learned so much from her like things about love, life, faith and spirituality. She teared up while talking about Gran Gran Dolly who passed away just last month. You could tell she admired her very, very much. It made me think about my own grandmas and how much they mean to me.
The subject then changed to Chris Brown. They talked about how Rihanna feels now, how she felt then, her feelings towards Chris Brown, etc. etc. etc. I’m not gonna get into the domestic violence incident but I did love what Rihanna had to say about it. She reminded me a lot of myself.
In particular, this quote caught me by surprise:
“It became a circus and I felt protective. I felt like the only person they hate right now is him,” she said. “It was a weird, confusing space to be in because as angry as I was, as angry and hurt and betrayed, I just felt like he made that mistake because he needed help.”
For me, this quote really shows the compassion she has for other people. She doesn’t deny the hurt, betrayal and humiliation that she felt – she knows what he did wasn’t right, but she was also worried about how he could get help for himself so that he could be at peace. That is powerful.
She makes family a priority and has stayed very humble despite her rapid rise to fame. She even said that she was afraid of the pedestal (that famous people get put on) because she knows she’s a flawed person – like everybody else. She doesn’t mind exposing her faults to others because then they’re reminded that she’s a real person. She likes to stay “as close to the ground as possible”.
Rihanna attributed her being able to forgive Brown by first mending the relationship with her own father. Once they worked through their issues and “closed the gap” and forgive her own father, she was then able to forgive Chris Brown so that she could move on. She didn’t want to play the victim, she didn’t want people feeling sorry for her.
She also mentioned not liking to talk about the incident with other people because once she opened up about it, people would never be able to look past that part of her.
I can totally relate to those feelings.
When something bad has happened to you, it is hard to talk to people about it because then they’re always going to associate the event and it happening to you. It can easily feel like it becomes your identity. Sure, it’s a part of your life but it can feel like some people define you by what happens to you.
What happens TO you DOES NOT define you. It WILL make you stronger and wiser.
To get past this whole situation, Rihanna took the reigns and did what she had to do to get to a better place (mentally, spiritually, etc.). That is admirable. There comes a time when you have to just decide to be happy. You have to decide when the time is right to take the steps necessary to feel good about life again. It won’t be automatic and it won’t happen overnight, but it’s worth the fight.
The hardest lessons we learn tend to be the ones that are most meaningful. They’re the ones we learn the most about ourselves from.
If you’re dealing with struggles right now, give yourself time to heal, to grieve, to process…you need that time. But at the same time, don’t let yourself sink down, down, down, down, down or you’ll quickly find yourself in a never-ending descent into hell.
You deserve happiness and I’ve learned that happiness is something you have to create for yourself. Nobody else can do it for you.
Your job: Find what makes you happy.
You know what a good first step is to being happy?
Being grateful for what you have right now.