Negativity Shmegativity ~ This Week’s Fit Point

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This week’s Fit Point:

Negativity and a lack of support can be the most crippling obstacle in any goal, especially when it comes to fitness and health. This week, FitPoint wants to know about some of the negativity you have faced as a result of your goals (and results) and how you deal with those situations. What gets you through the storm clouds?

There have been times in my life where I have been quite negative about all kinds of different things but I have since realized that no matter what happens to you, your reaction to it doesn’t have to be a negative one. Things happen, sometimes for the good, sometimes for the not-so-good but we still have to deal with it. It’s better to have a more positive reaction than a helpless, “woe is me” kind of reaction. I’ve learned to look at things differently and react to negative experiences in a healthier way.

My biggest supporter that I’ve had since I started working out is my husband. He is one of the only people that encourages me. A few others do as well but I really don’t have that much support, as far as training goes, for the most part. I don’t know if people are afraid to say things or what or maybe people don’t think I need support because I’m not obese and I don’t need to lose weight? However, there have been two times in my life where I did need to lose weight and that was after having my children and people would just laugh at me and tell me how skinny I was. Have I mentioned that I hate the word “skinny”?? If I haven’t yet, I REALLY, REALLY HATE THE WORD “SKINNY”. There’s nothing good about that word. Skinny does-not-equal healthy and I hate hearing the word. Nobody should strive for skinny, or thin, just work to be at a healthy weight and the best shape you can be in.

This doesn’t mean I still don’t have doubts about myself and my training, but the way I look at it is that there is always going to be somebody who is in better shape, somebody who is more toned, somebody who is better looking overall. This is why it’s so important to just be happy with who you are. When it comes down to it and the life we all choose to live, it’s always YOU VS. YOU. Nobody else can stop you but yourself.

I have had my fair share of negativity in my life and one particular time was when I was in 7th grade. I was really good friends with a girl in my grade and there was a girl in one of our classes that would always say how much prettier my friend was than I. She’d say it right to my face. At that time I never really cared about who was pretty and who wasn’t, I just had my friends and didn’t care what they looked like.

Looking back I realize that that is where my own negativity about myself, started. I limited my food intake, worried about my weight and felt ugly all the time. I began comparing myself to EVERYBODY I saw. It’s really hard not to when there’s a girl shoving those beliefs down your throat by saying things right to your face. And the kicker is that she wasn’t anything special either. She wasn’t a nice person, she wasn’t a particularly good-looking person whatsoever, and yet somehow she would continue to spew this type of bullshit. I guess that’s why they say the people who are bullies are sometimes the ones who are also the most insecure.

As I’ve gotten older, and more especially since I started training, I have done a complete 180 in the way that I think about myself and others. I am not afraid to appreciate another good-looking female and I don’t look down upon people who take great care of their bodies. If somebody is in better shape than I am, that is just motivation for me to keep chugging along.

About 2 weeks ago I went to the Minnesota State Fair and could not believe how many dirty looks that my sister and I were getting from other females. I’m not over-confident and I don’t think I’m more special than anybody else, and neither does my sister, but it seems as if some people believe that about us just because we’re in good shape. I’m not in great shape by any means but I do have good muscle tone and I have improved my overall body shape in the last 2 years.

Just because we get older does not automatically mean that we have to get fatter and more out of shape. Just because we have children doesn’t mean we can’t get back to our pre-pregnancy size ~ or in even better shape. There are no rules, these just seem to be more of the norm. In my opinion, instead of looking down on others and making comments that seem more geared towards jealousy than anything else, take a look in the mirror and analyze what you could do to make yourself look better and then devise a plan and work to meet your goal(s). (I’m just thinking aloud here, this isn’t being directed at anybody)

There’s no reason that we can’t love ourselves and our bodies and work hard to be in good shape. Anybody can lose weight and get into the best shape of their lives. All you have to do is take the first step – which is also the largest step – and keep working at it.

To sum this up, I guess I just can’t stand the dirty looks that people get just walking around. And this isn’t just about myself either. There have been numerous occasions where I’ve seen girls give other females the dirtiest looks ever for no reason. I like to smile and nod at everybody, regardless of what they look like, because that’s just the polite thing to do. I am not conceited in any way, but working out has given me more confidence and there’s nothing wrong with feeling comfortable in your own skin ~ I encourage everybody to do so.

With that said, I believe there is always room for improvement which is why I continue to work hard in my home gym. I work out not only because it makes my body look better, but also because it improves my physical and mental health and makes me FEEL better. I battled with depression for almost 10 years and the anti-depressants just didn’t cut it for me, but you know what did? EXERCISE.

Fit Point of the Week

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My name is Mindi and I'm an office manager and blogger living in Minnesota with my husband and our blended family of four children. Thank you for visiting Lifting Makes Me Happy! I fight depression and anxiety with healthy living and writing. I hope you are encouraged and motivated by the things I share here. I appreciate you stopping by!
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  1. Sushicookie says:

    I find women who give dirty looks really obnoxious. It doesn’t make me feel bad, it just downright pisses me off. Where do they get off judging anyone else’s lifestyle? I don’t judge them for eating donuts every day.
    I to absolutely hate being called skinny. I hate being told I am too thin, I hate being told I need to gain weight. It really bothers me. It’s like those people are only saying it because they are jealous and it’s just ridiculous.

  2. Nick- The 6 Week Workout Program says:

    We’ve all been there. I just have to force myself to the gym and after a couple good days of working out I’m back in the game, but it can be super tough those two times.

  3. Great article. I frequently talk to my clients about the negative impact that one person, even a very close person can have on their training. It is so important to have a supportive group behind you in your training or you will never achieve your goals. Keep up the good work.

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